Healthy relationships are built on trust and open communication. However, some things are better left unsaid, even to your closest partner. Sometimes, harmless words can hurt your relationship or your partner’s feelings. It’s important to be honest but equally crucial to be kind and considerate.
In this blog, I’ll share 18 things you should never tell your partner.
You’ve gained weight
Commenting on your partner’s weight can hurt their feelings, making them feel insecure and unloved. This kind of remark can damage their self-esteem and your relationship. If you’re concerned about their health, find kinder ways to encourage healthy habits.
My ex was better at…
Comparing your partner to an ex is never a good idea. It can make your partner feel inadequate or jealous. This kind of comment suggests you’re still thinking about your ex. Focus on appreciating your current partner’s unique qualities instead.
I don’t like your family
Even if you have issues with your partner’s family, saying this outright can cause problems. Your partner might feel torn between you and their family. It’s better to discuss specific behaviors that bother you rather than make blanket statements. Try to find ways to improve your relationship with your partner’s family.
You’re overreacting
Telling your partner they’re overreacting dismisses their feelings. It can make them feel misunderstood and unimportant. This phrase can shut down communication and create resentment. Instead, try to understand why they feel strongly about something.
I’m not attracted to you anymore
This statement can deeply hurt your partner and damage their self-esteem. It can create lasting insecurity in your relationship. If you’re having issues with attraction, it’s better to explore the reasons why. Consider talking to a relationship counselor for help addressing this sensitively.
You’re just like your mother/father
Using this phrase as a criticism can be hurtful and unproductive. It brings family dynamics into your relationship in a negative way. Your partner can’t change who their parents are. Focus on specific behaviors you’d like to discuss instead of making comparisons.
I faked it
Telling your partner you faked enjoyment during intimate moments can hurt their trust. It can make them feel inadequate and unsure about your past experiences together. Instead of admitting to past deception, focus on improving your current intimate life. Communicate openly about what you enjoy.
You’re terrible with money
Criticizing your partner’s financial skills can create tension and resentment. It might make them feel judged or defensive. Money is often a sensitive topic in relationships. Instead, suggest working together on a budget or financial plan.
I’ve always hated your hobby
Expressing hatred for something your partner loves can be very hurtful. It might make them feel like you don’t understand or appreciate them. Hobbies are often vital parts of people’s identities. Try to show interest in their passions, even if you don’t share them.
You’re not as fun as you used to be
This comment suggests your partner has changed for the worse. It can make them feel old or boring. People naturally change over time, and that’s okay. Instead of criticizing, suggest new activities you could enjoy together.
I don’t trust you
Saying this outright can severely damage your relationship, and trust is crucial for a healthy partnership. If you’re having trust issues, it’s better to discuss specific concerns or behaviors.
You’re a bad parent
Criticizing your partner’s parenting can create deep hurt and conflict. Parenting is often a sensitive and personal topic. If you have concerns about parenting styles, discuss specific situations calmly. Focus on working together as a team for your children’s benefit.
I wish you were more like…
Comparing your partner unfavorably to someone else is hurtful and disrespectful. It can make them feel inadequate and unloved. This kind of comment suggests you want to change who they are. Instead, appreciate your partner for their unique qualities.
You’re lazy
Calling your partner lazy is a harsh judgment that can hurt their self-esteem. It ignores any efforts they make. If you’re concerned about the division of responsibilities, discuss specific tasks rather than making character judgments. Work together to find a fair balance.
I’ve been faking happiness
Admitting you’ve been pretending to be happy for a long time can shake the foundation of your relationship. It can make your partner feel deceived and question everything. If you’re unhappy, it’s better to address issues as they come up. Seek help from a therapist if you’re struggling with long-term unhappiness.
You’re a bad lover
This statement can deeply hurt your partner’s confidence and self-esteem. It can create lasting insecurity in your intimate life. If you’re unsatisfied, it’s better to gently suggest trying new things together. Focus on positive communication about your desires and needs.
I don’t like your friends
Expressing dislike for your partner’s friends can put them in a difficult position. Friends are often an essential part of someone’s life. If you have concerns about specific behaviors, discuss those instead. Try to find ways to spend time with your partner that don’t involve their friends.
I’ve thought about leaving you
Telling your partner you’ve considered ending the relationship can create lasting insecurity and make them feel the relationship is always at risk. If you’re having serious doubts, it’s better to discuss the specific issues causing your unhappiness.
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