Marriage isn’t always a walk in the park. Sometimes, it can feel more like a bumpy roller coaster ride. While every couple has their ups and downs, there are some signs that might mean your relationship is hitting more than just a rough patch.
If you’ve felt like something’s off in your marriage but can’t quite put your finger on it, you’re not alone. I’ve put together a list of 15 signs that could mean you’re struggling more than you realize. Don’t worry – spotting these signs doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed. It just means it might be time to pay a little more attention and maybe get some help to get things back on track.
You avoid talking to each other
Communication is the heart of any relationship. If you find yourself dreading conversations with your spouse or only talking about surface-level stuff, it could be a red flag. Maybe you’re afraid of starting an argument, or you just don’t know what to say anymore. Either way, this lack of real talk can create distance between you.
You’re always criticizing each other
It’s normal to get annoyed with your partner sometimes. But if every little thing they do bugs you, and you can’t help but point it out, something deeper might be wrong. Constant criticism can make both of you feel attacked and unloved. Try to catch yourself before you criticize and think about why you’re really upset.
You don’t spend time together anymore
Remember when you couldn’t wait to hang out with your spouse? If you now find yourself making excuses to avoid alone time, it’s worth thinking about why. Maybe you’re just busy, or maybe you’re avoiding deeper issues. Making time for each other is crucial for keeping your connection strong.
You’re keeping secrets
Trust is super important in a marriage. If you hide things from your partner—whether it’s money, friendships, or just your feelings—it can create a wall between you. Secrets have a way of coming out eventually, and they often cause more harm the longer they’re kept.
You don’t feel supported
Your spouse should be your biggest cheerleader. If you feel like they don’t care about your goals or dreams, it can really hurt. Maybe they dismiss your ideas or don’t show up for important events. This lack of support can make you feel alone, even when you’re together.
You’re always fighting
Some arguing is normal, but if it feels like you’re always at each other’s throats, that’s not healthy. Pay attention to how you fight, too. If there’s a lot of name-calling, yelling, or bringing up old hurts, it’s a sign that you need to work on how you handle conflicts.
You don’t touch each other anymore
Physical affection is important in a marriage. This isn’t just about sex – it’s about holding hands, hugging, or just sitting close on the couch. If you’ve stopped being physically affectionate, it could be a sign that you’re drifting apart emotionally too.
You fantasize about being single
It’s one thing to occasionally wonder “what if.” But if you’re constantly daydreaming about life without your spouse, it’s a sign that something’s wrong. Try to figure out what’s missing in your marriage that makes single life seem so appealing.
You don’t trust each other
Trust is the foundation of a strong marriage. If you’re always checking your partner’s phone, worrying about where they are, or feeling like you can’t believe what they say, your foundation might be cracking. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both people.
You’re not a team anymore
Marriage is about partnership. If you feel like you’re tackling life’s challenges alone, or if you and your spouse are working against each other instead of together, it’s a problem. A strong marriage means facing the world as a team.
You’re always disappointed
If your spouse constantly lets you down, it’s natural to feel hurt and angry. But if you find yourself always expecting the worst from them, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Try to remember why you fell in love and look for the good in your partner.
You don’t respect each other
Respect is crucial in a marriage. If you find yourself looking down on your spouse, or if you feel like they don’t value your opinions or feelings, it’s a serious issue. Without respect, it’s hard to have a loving, equal partnership.
You’re not on the same page about big stuff
It’s okay to disagree on small things, like what movie to watch. But clashing on major life decisions—like whether to have kids, where to live, or how to handle money—can cause big problems. These issues won’t go away on their own and need to be addressed.
You feel stuck
Marriage should help you grow, not hold you back. If you feel like your relationship is keeping you from being your best self or pursuing your dreams, it’s worth thinking about why. A good marriage should support your personal growth, not stifle it.
You’re not happy anymore
This might seem obvious, but sometimes we get so used to feeling down that we forget it’s not normal. If you can’t remember the last time you felt truly happy in your marriage, it’s a sign that something needs to change. You deserve to be happy, and so does your spouse.
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