American funeral customs have evolved greatly over the years. In this blog, I’ll share 11 fascinating funeral practices from the past that may surprise you. These customs offer a glimpse into the diverse and sometimes surprising ways Americans have honored their dead throughout history. While some may seem strange or even shocking to modern readers, each custom provides insight into the cultural values and beliefs surrounding death and mourning in the United States.
Funeral rites and traditions have long been an important part of how Americans cope with loss and commemorate the lives of the deceased. From the elaborate mourning jewelry of the 19th century to the intimate “embalming parties” held before modern techniques, the funeral customs of the past reflect the changing attitudes and religious/spiritual beliefs of each era.
Mourning Jewelry
In the 19th century, it was common for people to wear jewelry made from the hair of the deceased as a sign of grief and remembrance. These intricate pieces, such as brooches and lockets, allowed the living to keep a physical connection to their lost loved ones. The hair was carefully woven or encased in glass to create beautiful and meaningful mementos. Wearing mourning jewelry was a way for the bereaved to publicly display their sorrow and remember the deceased.
Coffin Clubs
During the 1800s, some communities formed “coffin clubs” where members would pay small fees to have a high-quality coffin reserved for their eventual use. This ensured a proper burial even for those who couldn’t afford it. The coffins were often elaborately decorated and kept in a central location, ready to be used when needed. These clubs provided peace of mind for families who worried about how they would afford a dignified funeral.
Corpse Brides
In certain parts of the United States, it was believed that a woman who died before marriage could still be “married” to a male relative after death. The corpse would be dressed in a wedding gown, and the ceremony would be conducted as normal. This practice was rooted in the idea that unmarried women needed to be cared for even in the afterlife. The “marriage” was thought to provide the deceased woman with protection and status in the next world.
Buried Alive Insurance
Concerned about being accidentally buried alive, some people in the 19th century purchased “buried alive insurance” policies that would provide a bell or flag to signal if the policyholder awoke in their coffin. This morbid fear was not unfounded, as medical knowledge at the time sometimes failed to accurately determine when someone had truly died. These policies gave people peace of mind, even if the likelihood of being buried alive was relatively low.
Mourning Photos
Photography was still a new technology in the 19th century, and many families would have portraits taken of their deceased loved ones, sometimes with the body propped up to appear lifelike. These post-mortem photos were a way for families to memorialize their loved ones and have a lasting keepsake. It was not uncommon for the deceased to be photographed in their casket or with their eyes open, creating an eerie but poignant record of their passing.
Mourning Houses
When a family member died, the front of the home would be draped in black fabric or crepe paper to signal the household was in mourning. Neighbors would know to avoid visiting during this time. This visual cue allowed the community to show respect for the grieving family and gave them the space they needed to process their loss. The mourning period was an important social ritual that helped the bereaved navigate their grief.
Embalming Parties
Before modern embalming techniques were developed, families would sometimes hold “embalming parties” where they would assist the mortician in preserving the body of their loved one. This intimate involvement in the preparation of the deceased was seen as a final act of care and devotion. Families would help wash, dress, and even stuff the body to ensure their loved one looked their best for the funeral.
Mourning Coaches
Wealthy families in the 19th century would hire special “mourning coaches” to transport the coffin to the cemetery. These coaches were elaborately decorated in black and white, with feathers, tassels, and other ornate details. The use of these specialized vehicles underscored the importance of honoring the dead with great ceremony and respect, even for those who could afford it.
Death Masks
It was common to make plaster casts of the faces of the deceased, which were then used to create death masks that could be displayed in the home. These masks preserved the features of the departed and allowed the living to maintain a tangible connection to their loved ones. They were also used for scientific and artistic purposes, as the masks provided detailed records of facial structures.
Mourning Etiquette
Strict rules governed how people were expected to dress and behave during the mourning period, including the length of time certain black clothing had to be worn. Women in particular were expected to adhere to elaborate mourning customs, such as wearing veils and refraining from attending social events. These rituals helped the bereaved demonstrate their grief and respect for the deceased.
Mourning Perfumes
Scented oils and powders were used to mask the smell of decomposition, and some were believed to have spiritual or healing properties. Floral and herbal scents were thought to purify the air and honor the dead. The use of these perfumes was part of the broader effort to care for the deceased and create a serene environment for the mourners.
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